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Feb. 14th, 2007

tea and orchid

Because the IRB says so, that's why ^__^

So I haven't been on in a while and between JET stuff, internship stuff, plus school, work, and hanging out with most of you who read this, I won't be on all that often. I haven't forgotten about it and I'll check this thing as often as I can, but if you need to get in touch with me: call the cell, email me, or message me on facebook. The next few months are going to be fun!!! ^___^


Oct. 1st, 2004

tea and white flowers

Friends Only

Comment to be added. Just tell me how you found this journal or where you know me from.

Jul. 31st, 2004

tea and white flowers


Today was okay; work was tiring and I planned to take a nap at lunch but I got to hang out with Matt so that was cool. Feeling kind of bleh and plan on reading most of the night, not really feeling like doing much of anything. I'm off until Tuesday so that's cool and I might be able to catch up on my sleep.

I need something to do. I need to create something. I need to get out of the apartment. Will I? Probably not. Blue moon tonight. I may go for a walk or something; try to get away from the sound of the concert over in Stadium.

Jul. 29th, 2004

tea and white flowers

(no subject)

My heart hurts =/

Jul. 22nd, 2004

tea and white flowers


I got a package from Allison and was all bounce and bumble for a couple hours. That girl has talent. Thank you for the presents, mo siur.

Work was long and tiring, but the new girl seems nice. I need to run some errands to prepare for the effect school will have on my work schedule, but I think that's going to have to wait a bit. Meh.

I really can't explain it, but I'm feeling a bit off today.

Jun. 28th, 2004

tea and white flowers

(no subject)

I have no problems with any one of you and I don't mean to offend those who have asked, but the topics currently on my mind are for my thoughts alone. I would not want to persuade you to judge the situation based on my personal bias, which I am presently trying to rid myself of so that I may approach things with a clear mind and unclouded heart.

I don't like the situation but I am particularly proud, in a small and strange way, that I have remained passive about it. Many of you may think that being aggressive is the right thing to do, but in this, doing nothing is doing the right thing.

Maybe I was right when I predicted I would become more enlightened by this. It's not Zen as I joked, but really a discovery of one's self. You have a choice: You can be rash, do what you want to do and damn the consequences, or you can stop. It's the stillness of the stopping, the moment when you realize that you have done something so out of character that even you had to wonder about it.

Imagine that the power has gone out and you were working on a paper due in the morning. Your first reaction is to be angry, to yell and be upset about it. But that's the problem: it's a reaction. It solves nothing, it doesn't bring your paper back, and you end up wasting a lot of time. You can't change the events that have caused the power to go out; you can get angry about it or you can accept it. It's really your choice.

But say you've always lost your temper. When the moment comes and you find yourself in a calm, somewhat sad, state of being, you realize that something has changed--you're not quite sure what, but you know you'll never be the same again.

And you're content with this fact.

So let me say in way of explanation, that the power has gone out and I'm sitting here in the dark. I can only sigh and hope that the forces I can't control turn the power back on again. I'm not blaming myself but at the same time, I'm not playing the victim. I just am. There is nothing I can do better.

Jun. 19th, 2004

tea and white flowers


Despite the feeling that I shouldn't get into this, I have a few things to say on the matter.

I haven't gone to PSA this summer, despite the fact that I live right around he corner from where the meetings have been taking place because of several reasons, the first of which is the People.

I don't think I should have to "suck it up" and sit with people who are just going to be negative or talk badly about one another. I missed the first meeting of the summer, got wind of what went on, and didn't feel the need to make an appearance. One of the main reasons I started going to PSA was to meet with people and enjoy hanging out with other open-minded pagans to talk about our beliefs and the way we see the world in relation to whatever aspect of divinity we believe in. Being asked to "suck it up" is to basically tell me to ignore the attitudes of said people and go against my nature while I hear negative things being said about the people I care about. I'm not angry at Liz for saying that people should "suck it up," but I think that maybe she hasn't seen it from an outside point of view. This is my opinion, Liz. I'm not criticizing you.

I think that the original ideal that was set for the club didn't include a lot of the cynicism that is present now. Then again, I'm going from the opinion formed from the club of last semester. I don't know if there have been any changes, but I voiced my opinions at the officers' meeting. I'm not hiding any feelings about things -- I've told you how I feel. After hearing about the summer meetings, I believe I am overdue to leave. Maybe some people can comfortably ignore the negative talk of others, but personally, I prefer to not be subject to it. I'm not saying that the club is a bad thing, just not necessary to my lifestyle. I think that I can grow more away from limiting viewpoints and criticism of my beliefs and the beliefs of others. I'm not going to say that anyone is more right or wrong than anyone else; this is about our religious beliefs and we all believe in different things. Being actively against another belief, however, does not fit into the realm of being open-minded. I can't help but to refer to Jenny's first entrance into the club as a point of reference. No one was asked to believe her, just put enough faith in her to know that she believed enough in it. The criticism of her beliefs dwells in my mind today, despite my attempts to forget. I'm not dragging Jenny into my reasons for leaving, only to state it as an example.

Yes, I had some personal grudges against certain people. I thought I could make a difference and make suggestions to alleviate the feeling I was getting that the club was becoming close-minded. But I'm past that; you cannot change people, only change yourself. I didn't like who I was becoming in order to accept the opinions of others--some things were said that I felt were unwarranted and plain mean. At the core of who I am, that is not something I can agree with, so I feel like it's my time to go back to the way things were before I joined the club. Looking back, I don't think that I've grown as a person, only turned inward and stopped expressing my beliefs. Maybe the club works for some people and not for others. I don't think that anyone should feel pressured into going when they don't feel like it-- it's a club, not a blood pact into a secret society from which you can never leave. I understand that some people feel this pressure and others do not. I suppose it really depends on who you were close with and who you pissed off. In short, I think it really depends on the circumstances that caused a member to leave the club.

I know I speak for many when I say that the club is not what it was.

Some things have gotten better, and some things have gotten worse. But I think the main factor that has caused people to leave has to do with People. Something happened that divided us all, and now there is an air of tension any time we get together. It's not comfortable, so people left.

This started before you were president, Liz. I don't doubt your ability as a leader, but I don't think you can fix the divide that has caused our numbers to diminish. All you can do is try to bring in new members and hope they don't become as jaded as those of us who don't come any longer. While I may stop by from time to time, I wish you luck in your presidential reign and hope that things are resolved and past hurts are healed.

Jun. 14th, 2004

tea and white flowers


ashen_roshana has the last piece of Aztec gold.
guns_of_dawn, we all know the truth, come out of the closet.
snowowl and sapooh took twenty minutes to decide what to tell the paramedics and the RSPCA.
logan and chickadee2525 secretly peed in guns_of_dawn's cornflakes.
sapooh collects other people's underwear!
guns_of_dawn collects other people's underwear - and has some from aquaman and morningangel!

Enter your username to dish the dirt on your friends!

Jun. 3rd, 2004

tea and white flowers

I'm such a dork

Your Harry Potter Character Description
HP Obsession Level
Year at Hogwarts Three
Corporeal Patronus form Unicorn
Special magical abilities Animangus (unregistered)
Preferred field of study Herbology
Character you'd most likely end up dating Severus Snape
Popularity at Hogwarts - 53%
This Quiz by nicki - Taken 1972 Times.
New - Kwiz.Biz Astrology
tea and white flowers

GOT THE GRANT!!!!!!!!!

I got the grant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*forms a conga line* Igotthegrant *HEY!* Igotthegrant...

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tea and white flowers

February 2007



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